I’ve decided to ignore you this cycle. And the next.
I’m sorry. But really, I think it’s necessary.
Despite the advice in The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant, knowledge was most definitely not power for me. It led to an obsessive focus on the details, to trying to manipulate every controllable factor in my favor. And while I like having a good deal of control, it just didn’t seem to do much good for me when it comes to TTC, except to create stress.
Bottom line, after temperature charting, peeing on sticks, and observing all of my body’s signs, I’ve come to believe that things are pretty regular. Sure, there may be an off cycle here or there, but ultimately everything is more or less predictable. So why bother when the husband and I both know the best times to have sex? And why bother when I feel a need to relinquish control in this case?
So, it’s nothing personal, CBFM. And I may use you in cycle 12 depending on what the RE says and how any test results pan out. But for now, for December, for the rest of 2013 and very beginning of 2014? You’re staying in that box I stuffed you into when the in-laws were visiting.
Our plan for cycles 10 and 11 is to have no plan. We’re just going to have lots of sex, fun sex, with no expectations. I’ll ovulate twice before I go back to work, and I want to be in a good head-space then—that means removing the spotlight on TTC and expanding it to everything else I’ve been thinking of.
And CBFM, I’m not treating you like I did my BBT thermometer. Don’t worry, you’re not going to get tossed into the trash. Partly because you’re an expensive little guy, and also because you don’t provide too much data over which to obsess. But I just don’t need you to serve that purpose within the next 1.5 months.
So sleep well, CBFM. Until 2014!