First, thank you for letting me vent. There are times when I just need to shout into a void without reassurance or comfort. It’s like screaming into a pillow, but on the Internet.
I ended up discussing much of the post’s substance with the husband; instead of it being a fight had amid TTC frustrations, I brought it up in a low-key context and asked for his opinion. I think part of him was delighted when I did so. We ended up having a wonderful talk that resolved nothing, but gave me a different way to think about this somewhat bogus journey. I have an idea for a post about that different way of thinking that’s more cute than anything else, but it may go up soon.
I ended up writing back to my friend today, saying thanks for her good wishes and wishing her a happy and healthy nine months. I didn’t mention taking her up on her offer to listen when it came to my TTC frustrations because I won’t. I know what it’s like to move beyond something difficult, and I know that listening to someone still going through it can be exhausting. I don’t want to be exhausting to anyone, particularly someone who doesn’t share my circumstances. She came close, but she ended up being one of the lucky ones. I’m glad for her. But I’m not comfortable confiding in her now.
The husband and I are about to head into a fertility week. Wish us luck. If all goes well, I won’t get my period on Valentine’s Day as currently projected.