So of course I have to report it all because it’s me and I love to share!
Today is 10DPO and I started spotting like clockwork. Obviously, I’m not upset as we took the month off. The only way I was going to conceive was through the Holy Spirit visiting or a swan attack while on work travel. However:
Comparing last month to every other month is making me overthink last month. It was out of the ordinary to not spot until 13DPO without the help of progesterone. My crazy is getting the best of me because now I’m wondering if we had a chemical pregnancy.
I have no proof of this. Only a gut feeling. After a whole year of TTC there was barely any variation in my cycles, certainly not with the spotting by more than a day. But three days? That’s practically time to call in the Hallelujah chorus.
Feel free to talk me down or call me batty. Because I’m a steadfast no-tester until FF says so, I can’t know for sure. Though my period came on time, my spotting most certainly did not. I had hope. That made it suck extra hard when I did get my period (after only one day of spotting, too). But now it feels as if I really wasn’t wrong to think something was different since it seems that a) my body’s back to its old ways because b) I know for sure I’m not pregnant this cycle (again: no husband, swans or Holy Spirit around me during my fertility week).
The idea of a very early miscarriage isn’t something to celebrate, of course. And I certainly wouldn’t want it to happen again if it did indeed happen (next time my spotting goes missing, I hope it’s because Baby Writer is taking up residence: settling in, dropping his/her bags, and declaring my uterus perfect for the next nine months).
It’s more that the potential is there. It’s a clue that maybe things are working. That, yeah, maybe this can happen naturally without invasive intervention. That we’re not the unexplained losers my RE thinks we are.
Proceed with your scoffing.