Remember way back in December when my husband’s cousin got engaged? And how I asked her to not seat us with my husband’s parents at her reception?
I mentioned it offhandedly, but it’s a destination wedding. Instead of being stuck at a table with the in-laws for a few hours, we’re going to be stuck on an island with them for a long weekend. I wanted to weep when I found out.
I’ve been a quick study in how my in-laws think. My husband will admit that I’m a few steps ahead of him when figuring out how they’ll try to control family interactions. When we saw the venue (expensive), I predicted that a) the in-laws would complain about the cost; b) they would want the entire family to stay in one section of the venue even though it’s huge; and c) they would make a grand gesture of wanting to pay for our room.
“Noooo,” my husband said. “No, they know better by now!”
Guess what showed up in his inbox yesterday? Why, an email wherein they suggest where we should stay and that they’ll pay for us. (This after months of horrified “Can you BELIEVE the cost of this place?” comments. Yeah, it’s expensive. We’ll live.)
(“Lesson: never doubt me on this,” I said to my husband.)
In a reasonable family, this wouldn’t be terrible. In this family, we’d be regimented into a schedule from morning until night (wedding events excluded). And trust me, you do not want to be at a table with my father-in-law when he ridicules waitstaff (an aside: I think people who do this are some of the most insecure and sad and spiteful people in the world).
My husband’s approach is to email them back and say we still haven’t looked at the room options, but we will definitely be paying for our own stay. No matter the room we pick, he’ll write, he’s sure that we’ll see each other a lot that weekend.
He tells me to understand that in his family, this is defiance to nth degree — you agree to what my father-in-law says immediately or you won’t hear the end of it. My husband is still afraid of this man, who made his life a misery and still treats him like property instead of a person. That makes me incredibly sad. And yet they say they want to be closer?
Truth be told, I don’t want to stay in the area of the resort that they chose. Never did. I want to spend a bit more for some luxury since vacations have been hard to come by this year. I want us to be able to do what we want that weekend: breakfast in bed, beachcombing, swimming, snorkeling. I don’t want to spend the day with my father-in-law’s grumpy ass.
I’ve said my husband can blame it all on me if it’s easier: TTC Writer wanted to stay here. TTC Writer wanted a quieter tower. TTC Writer wanted to be closer to X. TTC Writer wanted whatever. It’ll all be true and have the added bonus of giving us a more relaxing weekend.
Because there is one thing they still will not dare to do, and that is mess with me.