In the interest of my sanity, I gave up the Big Blue. I gave up Facebook.
For a long while, I’d been feeling a lot less entertained by the site and less connected with people on Facebook. To the point where I was using it just to keep up with the wedding month group I’d become pals with when we were planning our big days. Sure, I still posted snarky comments on my timeline, but they were becoming infrequent. The feed design made it hard to keep up with people AND I really didn’t want to go through the effort of figuring out what people were up to these days.
Also, I’d hidden people. A lot of them. As I mentioned in my earlier Facebook post about pregnancy overshare, I had a couple of friends who liked to detail their pregnancies in ways I found insufferable. I’ve said it before: I can’t know they didn’t have difficulty conceiving, but I can observe that they’re certainly not thinking that some of us might be struggling when they post their cutesy/smug status updates.
For a while, on my wedding group, a lot of us had been trying to get pregnant. At first, there was a lot of commiseration on the mindfuck that is TTC. But as the months have gone on, people who started trying after me were easily getting pregnant, posting stupid “Do you think this means what I think it means!?” posts that annoyed the hell out of me (just effin’ test). Most of the women who were beginning to try when my husband and I embarked on this road now have healthy newborns.
And as people have been getting pregnant and having their babies, there’s less time for us struggling. Anytime any of us posts about the frustrations inherent of TTTC, we get lame advice (“Just ignore it”) or half-hearted hair pats from people who obviously have no trouble getting pregnant. I feel as if the empathy quotient is set to close to zero on the group at the moment since most others have been successful.
I feel so left behind — as if I’m running my toughest race ever and I can’t get anything to respond no matter what I do (holla, Cherry Blossom 2014!). Because it’s where I spent most of my online time, I knew it needed to go.
So, with cycle 16 beginning, I figured it was time. The performance art that is the Facebook feed has grown weary, and the support I once had from my group has eroded. I’ve said before that battening down the online hatches was best for me. I guess this is a further step in that hunkering down for this long TTC winter.
I didn’t leave my group without saying goodbye. I put a positive spin on it; I said that, as much as I enjoyed their company, I spent way too much time on FB and needed to step back and enjoy real life (since there are many aspects of it that are going well). Many agreed with me. I said I would try to come back if I got to a better balance.
However, depending on how much I enjoy not being tethered to Facebook, account deletion is also an option.