Record Broken

It is 13DPO and … drumroll … no spotting.

Say what?

I’m a little flabbergasted, quite pleased, and somewhat scared. Flabbergasted and pleased that things could change so quickly — if it’s what I suspect and the Pregnitude is doing the heavy lifting here (maybe the OvaVite’s contributing?), I wish I had started taking this stuff last year. I’m afeard because a) this is what it’s like to not have your body clue you in on anything, eh? and b) damn, does that ever raise the hope quotient, being in the dark! I could come crashing down any time.

The cramps that I mentioned the other day continue to be tidal, but brief; on 11 and 12DPO, they hit at night and only for a few minutes. I think I’m also confusing uterine cramps with just general anxiety stomach cramps. For example, I get a little anxious before runs outside. I go anyway, but they make my stomach tight. So yesterday, before an awesome run, I kept on thinking to myself, AM I CRAMPING BECAUSE I’M NERVOUS OR BECAUSE I’M GETTING MY PERIOD? OMG! As soon as I started running, I realized it was general running anxiety.

Today, I’m a tiny bit bloated, a tiny bit anxious, and there are small, small aches (everything’s oh-so-cute and tiny and small). But if I stop and think about it, it doesn’t “feel” like I’m getting my period. If I were to apply this anxiety to anything else, I’d say, besides some tender breasts (which never last past 10DPO and which, yes, I keep touching), I’m not feeling out of the ordinary.

So, as you can tell, I’m examining EVERY LITTLE THING even as I try not to. My period is due tomorrow, so I’m a ball of nervous energy right now. (And I will feel very stupid about this post when, more likely than not, I post tomorrow that my period did indeed start).

The easy thing here would be to test and get an answer. But for now, I’d rather stay in the dark. After my test on 10DPO (shockingly negative! </sarcasm>), my urge to test this cycle subsided significantly. Jennie at Solving the Four Years of Infertility had an excellent post about not testing early — a doctrine I usually follow because, for a long time, there was no reason to test.

If I’m late, I will test. But will I get that far? Only time will tell.

But going back to the record that’s been broken — last month, I started spotting at 11DPO. This month, not yet. I’d say that’s progress! Despite my anxiety right now, I’m really happy about that. It’s always troubled me, so to think the fix for the spotting has been this easy? I’m grateful. Sure, it’s led to over-thinking everything this cycle, but hey: better than crying since Friday!

We’ll see what the rest of the day holds. My yoga class starts tonight, so at least I’ll be ending the day with some relaxation!

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