Summer is over. What a weird, wacky summer it was.
I went back to work. Dubya went to daycare. My husband tried to keep all of us sane. Somehow, we survived. How are things going on all fronts? Let’s check in.
Baby: When I said Dubya was days away from crawling, I wasn’t kidding. She’s now a master crawler. But was that enough for the Bean? Of course not! Within days, she was pulling to stand. Her crib, which we’d just lowered to the second position, had to be lowered to the third and final position. She pulls up on everything and dances her little feet into a stable place. I know what’s next: guiding herself along furniture, then taking tentative steps away from said furniture. Oof. She’s also babbling, reaching for us, she started solids — we’re doing baby-led weaning — and took a swing ride for the first time. This kid is getting big and kicking ass at these milestones.
Books: In an effort to read again, I ordered some recent literary fiction releases. Currently, I’m reading Adam Johnson’s Fortune Smiles: Stories, which has been delightful — I read nearly 150 pages worth of fiction in one day while Dubya napped or played nearby. My husband is strongly encouraging this as he misses discussing books with me. As for writing, let’s talk about that another day.
New Beginnings: My big new beginning for this year (post-Dubya’s birth) was getting back into shape. I’ve been doing well on Weight Watchers, losing nearly 10 pounds in the two months I’ve been on it. I’ve also tried to do better with working out, though it’s hard — work is busy and running is frustrating, so I’ve got to take it one day at a time. However, a few pounds make all the difference: after a run with a friend this weekend, I wasn’t achy and miserable like I usually am. I’m hoping to run a bit more now that Dubya’s old enough to ride in the BOB. All in all, I feel like I’m on my way to getting back into shape (13 more pounds until pre-baby weight; 12 pounds after that until I get to my fighting weight).
For now, things are more or less where I want them to be. I will admit one thing is askew: work. As much as I love what I do, it’s been challenging. I’ve had to deal with unhappiness in my work (without guidance as to what the problem is, though I have asked) and a lack of motivation as a result. My husband thinks people believe I want to leave — I don’t. But so many have left post-baby that he fears I’m feeling the repercussion of others’ decisions. The problem is that it could become a self-fulfilling prophecy if I don’t receive more guidance and feedback. I’m more frustrated than unhappy at this point, and trying to find the drive within me to not care what others think and do my work well. It’s hard, especially with so many competing priorities.
But we’re managing. That’s all I can ask for as we go through this crazy first year.